She's Here!

This morning, at 4:43 A.M., we welcomed our new baby girl into the world. Baby C weighed 7 lbs, 11 oz, and was 20 inches long. She is perfect.

My labor, however, was not perfect. Of course, this is ME we're talking about, so I expected nothing else.

Yesterday, after dealing with increasingly painful contractions for 7 hours, we took Bee and went to L&D. I was 4 CM and 80% effaced. They wanted me to lay around for an hour so they could see if I was "progressing," and unfortunately, I wasn't. So, while one of the sweet L&D nurses amused Bee, DH and I walked round and round the labor & delivery ward, stopping every 5 minutes for me to have a contraction, and trying to keep my behind from hanging out of the back of the hospital gown for all to see. At 3:30, my Dad arrived to take Bee home with him for the night, and I was checked again. Still no change.

So, get this.... they told me to go home. HOME! After all that, they said that I must not be in true labor, because my cervix wasn't changing. I fought my irrational pregnant urge to shriek and scream and make a big noisy fuss until they put me in a room, and DH and I got in the car and headed to the mall to walk. I knew I was in labor, and I was gonna keep walking until SOMETHING happened in there.

We wandered round the mall, with me panting and moaning and squeezing DH's hand with an iron grip until I thought he might start crying. Every time we passed one of those kiosks in the center of the mall, some annoying mall employee would accost me, imploring me to try their hand lotion, or their heated neck pillow, or some such nonsense. "Why me?" I asked DH a million times. "Why are they picking on me? Do I look like I want to try their hand lotion right now? I don't want any hand lotion!" Finally DH, sensing that I was getting more and more agitated with each lap, took action. The next time a kiosker approached, he said loudly, "She wants to be left alone!" That seemed to do the trick.

After an hour of walking, I decided that I should eat something, because I knew they wouldn't let me if I went to L&D. I was tired of being stared at, so while DH got our food, I parked my whale-like self in the most inconspicous place in the food court. Of course, as is always my luck, the minute I sat down, a group of teenage boys, complete with backward caps, and baggy underpants-baring jeans came and sat right next to me. They were swearing and rough-housing and being generally loud and obnoxious. I was just about to say a few choice words to them when I had a big bad contraction. By this point, it was getting pretty tough to keep quiet, so they heard and saw the whole thing. Mercifully, they took this as their cue to leave. DH said later that it was probably excellent birth control for them.

I picked at my supper, but I was so tired and achy and I really just wanted to go home. So, at 7:30, we drove the 20 minutes to our house. I ran a hot bath and soaked for a while, but it became clear very quickly that hot water wasn't going to help. I tried watching T.V. to distract myself, but I found myself getting angry at the women on Dancing With The Stars because they were so thin, and also because they weren't going through what I was. It seemed extremely unfair to me. I know that sounds completely unreasonable, but at the time, it made perfect sense to me.

I knew we had to go back to L&D when I had a contraction so painful that I actually threw up. DH called L&D, and the nurse heard me screaming in the background and said we should come in right away. So at 9:45 we drove back to the hospital, with me moaning and screaming and telling DH emphatically between contractions that I would freak out if they made me go back home again.

Fortunately, when they examined me, I was 6 CM, so I was promptly admitted. I can't tell you how relieved I was to be there, finally ready to have my baby! I felt like I had been running a marathon, and now I could finally see the finish line ahead.