Keeping the Stuff Under Control

Today I went to Target to shop for a birthday party tomorrow, and it got me thinking. This is Bee's 3rd birthday party invitation in the last month. I'm happy that she has lots of friends who want to include her, but sometimes I long for the weekends when we could stay at home.

I also get an invitation to something nearly every week. Seriously. Jewelry parties, Creative Memories parties, Tastefully Simple parties, Party Lite Candle parties. I never go to any of these. Why?

1) I prefer to stay home. I rarely have free time, and I'm a homebody.
2) The merchandise sold at these parties is generally overpriced stuff that I don't need.
3) I'm really just not a party kind of girl.

Let me just say that I certainly do not begrudge children their birthday parties. One of the great joys of parenthood for me is planning my kids' birthday parties, and I'm happy when they receive gifts that they love and are excited about. However, I have real issues with the amount of stuff that is hemorraged on kids these days. At my kids' last birthday party, the amount of stuff they received was almost obscene. Much of it is cheap, dangerous, or just plain dumb. Furthermore, many toys marketed to young girls are completely inappropriate. There are no Bratz dolls allowed in my house.

We have a small home, and Bee is required to weed out her stuff often. Our rule is, when something new comes in, something old goes out. I also have Bee really think about the items that are important to her. Anything that isn't gets returned, taken to a consignment store, or donated to charity. I do this for many reasons:

1) I believe that it's important to teach children the value of money as soon as they're able to understand it. Also, because Bee is required to keep her things neat and orderly, she is learning to be responsible and organized.

2) The cheap plastic toys and all their packaging require valuable resources to manufacture. Then they break right away and end up in landfills. Need I say more?

3) I see too many jaded, cynical kids who don't appreciate anything. They don't accept gifts graciously, and they're rude and ungrateful. The more you do for them, the more they want and expect. I refuse to raise a child like that.

4) I want my children to remember what's important. Stuff does not bring lasting happiness. We often talk to Bee about children who have nothing, not even food or clothing. We encourage her to give unwanted items to charity because we want her to have empathy for others.

Bee learned a valuable lesson this year. She had been saving her allowance for an American Girl "Just Like You" doll. These dolls cost about $90 (which I think is ridiculous), but they are of high quality and offer a positive message to young girls. I told her that if we returned all the birthday and Christmas gifts that weren't important to her, she could put all the money toward that doll. She thought that was a great idea! When she purchased the doll with her own money, she was so happy and proud of her accomplishment.

That feeling will stay with her much longer than a cheap plastic trinket.