Managing Your Time

Occasionally, I'll be chatting with another mom at the mall play area, or while waiting to pick Bee up at school, and I might casually mention that I use cloth diapers, or make baby wipes, or some other frugal thing. At this point, one of two things will happen:

1) The other mom will express great interest in how I do it, and I'll tell her, and we'll probably become friends, or:
2) The other mom will look at me like I'm some kind of weirdo, and say, "Well I don't do all of that stuff because I'm BUSY. I just don't have time."

Hmmmm....news flash. I'm busy too.

Whoever said that stay-at-home moms aren't busy has clearly never been alone in a house for 10 hours a day with preschool-aged children. Effectively running a home and raising healthy, happy children is a full-time job, and it's hard. It's harder than any other job I've ever had.

Sometimes it's very difficult for SAHMs to find the time to do the absolutely necessary things that must be done in a day's time, much less anything extra. My husband, after spending an entire day with the kids, once said, "I don't know how you get anything done. I spent the whole day just dealing with their needs!"

Consequently, one of the questions that other moms often ask me is "How on earth do you find the time to do all of this frugal stuff?"

Unfortunately, I have no magic strategy, and I have days when I don't find time. However, after almost 6 years of stay-at-home motherhood, I've determined that for me, successful time management lies not in the things that I do, but in the things that I don't do. Here are some examples:

-I don't watch television during the day. I watch only about an hour of TV a day, at night with my husband.

-I don't talk on the phone. People who know me leave a message or send me an e-mail, because they know that I rarely answer the phone.

-I don't read a newspaper or subscribe to magazines. I do read a lot of books, but only for about an hour a day, right before going to sleep.

-I don't spend an hour grooming myself every morning (although, perhaps I should spend more time than I do ;) My new, shoulder-length haircut is easy to care for - I just wash it every other day and let it dry by itself. I only wear makeup on special occasions.

-I don't entertain my children all day. I try to have an hour of play time with them each day, but this doesn't always happen. I read to them every night, and I take Cakesie to library story hour every week. We place limits on television, and we don't allow video games. Most of the time, the kids are expected to amuse themselves. I believe that children need to learn resourcefulness, creativity and self-sufficiency. Think about it--did your Mom spend all day playing with you? Probably not.

-I rarely socialize, and I don't have any commitments outside the home. My weekends are spent doing fun activities with my husband and kids.

-I don't clean Bee's room--she's expected to clean up after herself. She also picks out her own clothes and dresses herself. Her hair is long and she has no bangs, so I just brush it in the morning and leave it at that. On school days, she usually wears it in a ponytail or a simple braid.

-I don't keep an immaculate house. We have toys laying around, spots on the rug and unwashed laundry. We do try to straighten up every night, but this is a house where children live. I don't expect it to be perfect.

-I limit my computer time. This is where I struggle the most, because as I've said in the past, I'm a tee-tiny bit obsessed with blogging, and I could easily waste many hours in front of the computer. I give myself an hour of computer time each morning, and I do take breaks during the day to moderate comments or answer questions. Also, if my husband is busy working on a personal project, I will sit down at night and read blogs, but typically the time after the kids are in bed is our time together.

I must also give credit where it's due. I'm blessed with an amazing, devoted husband, who is not only very foxy, but also very helpful around the house. He works from home (his office is in our basement), and has only one outside commitment on Monday nights. The rest of his time is spent here with us.

In a nutshell, I believe that the way I manage my time, and also my money, is indicative of my priorities. Perhaps my only real time management secret is that I don't devote time to things that don't fit with my top priorities--God, home and family.