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For some unknown reason, this older boy has targeted her and another little girl her age. He calls them names, gives them dirty looks, and tells them that he's going to "rip their heads off," and "smash their faces in."
Naturally, we're a bit upset.
My husband took matters into his own hands yesterday, because no one is going to intimidate his little girl. He got on the bus with Bee yesterday morning, and asked her to point out the boy who was bothering her. His intention was to let this kid know that he'd better back off, but unfortunately he wasn't on the bus. So my husband talked with the bus driver, and went to the school to leave a message for the superintendent. To the school's credit, they seem to be taking this matter very seriously, as my husband received a phone call from the Dean of Students before he even got back home.
The bus driver said that he will be making it very clear to this boy that when he gets on the bus, he needs to go straight to his seat and say absolutely nothing to the little kids.
I'm glad that the school is dealing with this, and I hope this puts an end to it, but I'm still upset. I asked my husband, "WHY? Why do kids do stuff like this to other kids? What are they trying to achieve?" My husband said that he thinks they want to feel powerful, so they target younger kids who can't fight back.
I just...I don't understand it. It's so cruel, and my little Bee would not harm a fly. She goes out of her way to be kind to everyone, and I know she did absolutely nothing to provoke this. I also know that she won't stick up for herself, because that's just not her personality.
To tell you the truth, when Bee told me about this, my first instinct was to find that kid and put the fear of God into him. Not that he would've been scared of a 5'5", heavily pregnant woman, but it would have made me feel better.
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15 comments:
It never stops. At 14 my daughter is still being targeted by the bully. Except now they are at an age where I could pull the technicality and have him charged with sexual harassment even. It never stops...the bullies just get better at not getting caught by the adult present.
That is great that they know about the situation now. I understand how you feel! When my son was in school, there was a boy on the bus who aggravated him every day. My husband told him to stand up for himself. Unfortunately, he finally did, and knocked the little boy's tooth out. At least it was a baby tooth. He was suspended from riding the bus for a few days because of it. But, funny thing is, that boy and him became great friends later on.
I have been in your shoes, and the Mama bear in you does come out, doesn't it.
I'm glad to hear that the school is helping so much...
That's too bad. At least you are taking action immediately. It sounds like you've done everything you can. Do you know any of the other older kids on the bus that could stick up for Bee or at least let her sit with them?
I'm happy the school is dealing with it so seriously!
Also, you're very lucky Bee let you know of the situation. I know that I never let my parents know when I was picked on/bullied. I was afraid of being picked on even more for being a tattletail.
It's great that she feels she can talk to you :)
Oh no! And I can tell that Bee is such a tender-hearted, sweet girl, so I'm sure it really hurts her feelings (as it would anyone's).
I was a middle school teacher for awhile, and was always shocked at how cruel kids could be. It's horrible sometimes. As a teacher, I literally felt like all I did as far as discipline was mitigate bullying all the time!
Sometimes it's hard to find a solution, so I hope this ends up being an easy fix :) Good luck!
Kids that act like this usually have a parent(s) at home that bully them. That's how they learn.
This would be one in which I would have to let my hubby handle too, as my emotions would get in the way and I probably wouldn't handle it very well.
You know, when you think about adults who are bullies or mean and rude, you think about how once they were little kids. Probably very sweet and loving and friendly at one time.
I have a couple of friends who are school teachers. They have said that they have some children who are discipline problems and when they meet the parents, the parents have pretty much the same bullying attitude that the children do.
Not saying this child's parents are bullies, though. Just that some parents tend to think that's what children "do" and that you should just ignore it. I don't agree, and glad the school doesn't either.
OMG! I can't believe that I haven't been online just a measly few weeks and you up and changed the look of your whole blog! It looks great by the way, but I can't believe you gave up your blue! lol
Anyway, I'm surprised the bus driver even let your husband on the bus to confront this kid. When I was a teacher, I couldn't ever confirm or deny the name of a bullying student of mine when a parent asked to talk to me about them and their child. Don't think that I didn't want to! But all I could do was say that I would address it and that they would be punished if it were found to be true. It seems like there's more "protecting" of the abusers than the victims.
I like the way they handled it back in the day on the "Christmas Story" when the mom called the parent of Ralphie's friend for allegedly teaching him the "f" word. The kid got the tar beat out of him (that's a little Southern slang for ya) and he didn't even do it. That's because back then, parents were absolutely mortified if someone even thought that their child was misbehaving. Today well, needless to say, it aint like that! lol But if this little punk keeps it up, pull a "Hand that Rocks the Cradle" on him, he'll never bully Bee again! (of course I'm kidding). Can you tell I watch way too much TV?!
Poor Bee! It's such a horrible feeling to be bullied, but at least she sees that you take her concerns seriously and act on it.
I would encourage her to pray for this boy. It's hard to feel compassion for such a little turd, but it may help her feel God's hand in this and provide an action she can take on her own. Often, the people we dislike the most are the ones He most wants us to show His love.
But I'd still want to kick his little tail into next week. Guess that's why I'm still a work in progress.
Kids can be so mean! I don't blame you for wanting to set him straight. I am glad your school system is taking this seriously. Our schools have a strict no tolerance code for bullying....and it needs to be enforced EVERYWHERE!
Tell Bee that this naughty monkey of a boy is just acting out and not to pay him any mind.
And in Georgia, threatening to "rip someones heads off" is considered a terroristic threat.....not good to have a juvenille record over a school bus incident! The boy better wise up!
My daughter dealt with this last year too. I finally called the bus barn and it was handled!
This irks me to no end. Kiss Bee for us. I know how it feels to be bullied. I too have had to deal with not so nice people this week. Watch out for mama; don't mess with one's kid!!
I am so sorry to hear this is happening - what a difficult situation. Glad to hear the school is doing something about it though.
Hi Heather -
I want to echo what someone else said and reiterate that usually the bully is being bullied in some way in their home life. Typically by a parent, but it varies. This does not excuse the bully in anyway, but it helps to understand that it really has nothing to do with Bee and that the kid is striking out in the same manner that he is (most likely) treated.
I am also very surprised that they let your husband on the bus. I want to caution both of you about this. I think its wise for your DH to get on the bus and *politely* introduce himself to the bully in question. Sometimes it is enough for the bully to know there is an adult who cares behind the other child. But you don't want your husband to be in trouble for reprimanding another person's child.
Your first and best step is to contact the school - experts agree on this. (I just went to a talk by an expert on bullying in the spring.) Experts also advise that in most cases calling the bully's parents will not help. They either see no problem and/or will just defend their child.
Case in point: In our school and neighborhood, we have a 7th grader who has been a bully since kindergarten and even bullies his own younger brother. His parents refuse to address the issue. I know, it defies all logic.
After working with the school, make your face and your husband's face known on the bus. Even if you just walk Bee onto the bus and into her see for awhile. Both of those things will help for the bully to see an adult involved. The bully may move onto another kid at that point, but at least it won't be Bee.
You'll have to give us an update and let everyone know how its going. Thinking of you, Kim
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