I’ve struggled with perfectionism my entire life. Not long ago, I wrote about how I seek approval from others in all areas of my life, but I’m slowly finding that there is freedom in accepting imperfection.
After I wrote these posts, I was both surprised and relieved to learn that so many of you deal with these same struggles in your daily lives. While I was comforted to know that I’m not alone, I was also saddened because so many women seem to drive themselves to the brink of despair because they cannot be “perfect.”
Recently, I was contacted by Joan C. Webb, regarding her new book, It’s A Wonderful (Imperfect) Life: Daily Encouragement for Women Who Strive Too Hard to Make It Just Right.
Joan herself is a recovering workaholic and perfectionist who communicates a message of freedom and renewal. As a personal life coach, lifeplan facilitator, and speaker/Bible communicator, she longs to help others gain clarity and move past their obstacles. Joan is the author or co-author of eleven books, including The Intentional Woman, The Relief of Imperfection, and It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. She also wrote study notes for the Women of Faith Study Bible. She lives with her husband, Richard, in Chandler, Arizona, near their two married children and seven grandchildren.
“It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life” is a collection of daily reminders that God wants and longs to relieve women from living in a continually overwhelmed state. There is a difference between “trying too hard to make it all just right” (the mental chase for flawlessness, which is impossible) and “partnering with God for excellence” (enjoying quality in balance, which is not only possible, but reasonable). We can reduce our unrealistic expectations about our relationships, bodies, work, dreams and faith.
Joan invited me to be a host on her blog tour, and she sent me a copy of her book. When I opened it for the first time, I thought, “Wow! This book was written for me!”
Here’s an example of a devotional that spoke to me:
Don’t Like the Upkeep
Genesis 1:1: In the beginning God created.
While driving down an old country road one day, a surprising thought popped into my mind: Joan, no wonder you’re tired, edgy and perplexed. You’ve been attempting to do the impossible by molding your world and its inhabitants into perfection—trying to re-create according to your own vision and image. The job’s too big for you.
“Yikes, Lord,” I whispered, “Forgive me for trying to craft myself a perfect life—perfect family, perfect surroundings, perfect relationships, perfect work, perfect faith. I’m trespassing on your territory and I don’t like the upkeep, so I’m going to leave it to you!”
Although this insight seemed to appear out of nowhere, perhaps it originated from the Genesis study I currently enjoyed with my friends. I learned the Hebrew word for create used in the first verse of the Bible is bara. This is a God-word. Human beings remain incapable of producing this way. Creating, out of nothing, is God’s mission alone.
Trying to design myself a perfect world in which to live wore me out. What a relief to learn it’s not my responsibility.
Master Creator, I acknowledge that occasionally I interfere in your creation process. You’re the all-knowing one, not I. I want to be satisfied to be one of your “created” and not the one responsible for re-creation. So I’ll leave the crafting process to you.
I believe that I’ve tried to design a perfect world for myself and my family, because the world that I grew up in was so distinctly flawed. I think that if I can somehow make up for that, if I can right that wrong, if I can make sure that my children never suffer the way that I did, perhaps I will find redemption. Unfortunately, maintaining a perfectly ordered universe is simply not possible, because I’m only a human being. I can’t go back in time and fix other people’s mistakes. With God’s help, I can only do the best I can in the here and now, and that’s enough. I need to give control back to the Lord, my Creator, and accept that He knows what is best. His plans are always better than mine.
Joan asks,
“What God-responsibility will you release back to him this week? Consider sharing your decision with a non-judgmental friend or mentor and ask her to check with you later to discuss how it turned out.”
I encourage you to think about this today. Is there an area of your life that belongs to God? If so, can you give him the control, and find peace in letting go?
Joan is featuring 21 different devotionals on her blog tour, and you can read another one tomorrow at Real Hurts, Real Hope (See the full tour schedule here). I hope that you’ll follow along!
