Whatever, Martha

WARNING: I am not a Martha Stewart fan. If you are, do not read this post, because I guarantee, you won't like it.

Now, has anyone watched "Whatever, Martha" on the Fine Living Network?

First, I want to just say that I almost never watch FLN, because I find many of the personalities to be just a teensy bit too pretentious and uppity for me. Especially Martha Stewart.

I know so many women who have tried, in vain, to be like Martha Stewart, and they end up feeling like crap because they can't do all of the stuff she does. When people lament the fact that they can't host their own old-fashioned, New England lobster boil on the beach in East Hampton, or make a "chellated pie crust," (I can't make any pie crust), or spray-paint gourds silver and make a centerpiece out of them, I remind them that they could, if they had no children at home, and didn't have to clean their own toilets, because they're billionaires and have staff to help with everything.

Martha has always rubbed me the wrong way, because while much of what she does is very beautiful and creative, she lacks warmth, and well....human-ness. I once saw an episode of her show, where she had some little kids helping her decorate cookies, and the kids were just being kids. They weren't trying to make their cookies perfect -they were trying to have fun. But Martha just couldn't stand that they were messing up, and she seemed like she just hated those kids and wanted to string them up. My husband and I had a good laugh over it, but we agreed that Martha was pretty scary. After she was convicted of insider trading and went to prison, I was secretly glad that she had been put in her place. Not very Christian of me, but there you have it.

To me, Martha is just another version of Sandra Lee - albeit, a more upscale version - and I don't have much respect for her. I have far more respect for a mother I just read about, who is struggling to hold onto her house after her husband lost his job. She works full time, has 5 kids, and she usually eats cereal for breakfast and supper, and skips lunch, so that her family can have enough to eat.

Anyway, the other night we were flipping channels, and we saw "Whatever, Martha" on the channel guide. My husband wondered what it was, so I turned it on, and oh my goodness! It was so, so funny! The premise is that Martha gave all of the old tapes of her program, "Martha Stewart Living," to her daughter, Alexis, and Alexis' friend, Jennifer. They watch them, and well...they basically just make fun of them for half an hour. It's hilarious. Not that I condone skewering one's mother on national TV, but hey, if she gives permission so that she can make more money, she hardly deserves our sympathy.

I was, and still am, a huge fan of Mystery Science Theatre, and so this is right up my alley. It's like MST3K for the homemaking set, and I have to say, I have a little more respect for old Martha now. It seems a bit out of character for her, to allow her own daughter to poke fun at her, but this finally helps me to see her as a human being, instead of a chilly ice maiden. Maybe prison taught Martha some humility, and she is learning to lighten up?

Watch for yourself, and see what you think...



After watching this clip, I sure hope that she's calmed down a bit, because good heavens! Who whittles and sands birch sticks so they can roast marshmallows, and then drills holes in the ends so they can be threaded with twine and hung up? Seriously. Whatever happened to finding a stick around the campfire that looks reasonably clean, and shoving a marshmallow on the end?

Even the way she says the word "whittle" drives me crazy. But as Ross on "Friends" would say, "There is nothing wrong with speaking correctly."