Today DJ is one week old, and already I feel desperate to stop time, and freeze him just as he is. This baby time flies by much too quickly, and since I’m still recovering from the c-section, I’ve been spending many hours just snuggling him, stroking his silky head, kissing his pudgy cheeks, and inhaling his delicious baby scent.
I want to thank everyone who commented or e-mailed to encourage me on Friday. It really does help to know that I’m not alone in my feelings, and things will get better. I am feeling significantly better today, in many ways. I got some sleep last night, because my husband and I took shifts, and it really improved my mood. As long as I keep up with my meds, I can handle the pain pretty well, but I still have a very poor appetite, and extremely swollen feet and ankles. Kathy says that when my hemoglobin comes back up, my appetite will improve, but for now, I’m doing the best I can to get enough calories for milk production.
DJ made great strides in breastfeeding over the weekend, and I’ve been pumping after feedings to get my supply up. Things are really looking up, and I’m thankful. I’m a true believer in the benefits of breastfeeding, and I loved nursing my girls. I would have been heartbroken if I couldn’t nurse DJ too. We also had good news on Saturday – DJ’s bilirubin dropped, and he doesn’t have to be readmitted to the hospital for phototherapy. I’m so grateful, because I would’ve needed to stay at the hospital with him, and I’m just not up to it. I need to be with my husband right now.
My husband is holding everything together around here – including me. He’s so loving and gentle and supportive, and I find that I don’t even like for him to leave me to go to the grocery store. When Kathy visited on Saturday, I told her about how emotional I am all the time, and how I have nightmares about the birth experience, and can’t even bring myself to write about it. She assures me that this is all normal, and I will feel better, with time. I know she’s right, but for now, I just feel traumatized. I can’t think or talk about DJ’s birth without crying, and I’m sorry for that. I so want to feel happy when I think about the birth of my son.
On a much happier note, I’m already completely in love with my little boy. It’s amazing how quickly he’s endeared himself to everyone, (except the cat, who seems very jealous). The girls beg to hold their little brother,
and Cakesie, to everyone’s surprise, has been freely sharing her toys with him. Today I walked past the baby seat where he was sleeping, and saw that she had given him the scepter from her Bella Dancerella set.
It’s only fitting, because he’s the new king of the castle around here.
UPDATE: Some of you have asked about clothes for DJ, and one very sweet reader even asked her MOMS Club group to donate items for him. I’m so touched by your concern and thoughtfulness, and the answer is yes! We do need clothes. Most of what we had was 0-3 months, and the boy simply cannot squeeze into that size. We have 4-5 sleepers in his current size, and we’ve just been washing them over and over for the last week. He also can’t wear the adorable little newborn diapers, because they won’t close over his chunky thighs, and they display major plumber’s butt! He’s currently wearing size 3-6 months, which fits him perfectly – for now.
